Sure, here goes:
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So Nintendo drops the news about Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour, and I’m like, okay, what’s this about? It’s a game, but not really—it’s more like a manual you can mess around with. Imagine strolling around the new Switch 2 with tiny games, tech-y demos, and pop quizzes that supposedly teach you about all its snazzy features. Wild idea, yeah? But somehow I thought Nintendo might just nail it. Then I find out they’re asking ten bucks for it, and not giving it out for free. My interest? Boom. Gone. Yet, because it’s a rare breed among the Switch 2 exclusives, I figured let’s see what it offers. Spoiler: Not much.
Imagine walking all over ginormous versions of the Switch 2’s controllers and screen. You’re supposed to “learn” their functions, kinda reminiscent of Astro’s Playroom for the PlayStation 5, but without the fun or eye candy. Sony gave us something vibrant and free, but Nintendo? They dropped a total snooze fest and charged for it.
I remember trying some mini-games, sorta like WarioWare’s distant cousin but not really in a good way. Most ended faster than you could say ‘Joy-Con.’ They did try to add levels to these games, like mix in a few stars to collect or extra spikes dodging, but eh, still felt like chewing cardboard.
They thought mixing it up with touchscreen stuff or making me fiddle with the console’s stand would do it, but nope. Some games asked for extra gear, which was just confusing. I mean, who thought locking content behind additional purchases was a bright idea? Anybody?
And can we talk about the accessories? One game needed a Pro Controller or the Charging Grip, another needed a camera. And sure, the Switch 2 lets you hook up any USB-C camera, which sounds cool, but good luck getting it to work! I kid you not—I wrestled with my Switch camera for over 20 minutes before it finally decided to cooperate. And one game said I was pushing invisible buttons. What gives, Nintendo?
Funny thing, they even locked some stuff behind a 4K TV. As if I wasn’t already knee-deep in this gear madness.
The few tech demos were slightly engaging, like holding the Joy-Con upside down pretending it’s a motorcycle handle. Felt those HD Rumble 2 vibes. Kudos to them for that, I suppose.
Then, quizzes! Didn’t see that coming. Pretty sure I’m here to game, but they tossed in a bunch of trivia just to quiz us on what we “learned.” Most of them dragged, so I bailed halfway in—made things go smoother.
You’re running around, collecting stamps or whatnot from different hardware parts to unlock new places. Sounds thrilling, right? (Spoiler: It’s not.)
So should you drop a ten on this? Honestly, this feels like a ten-buck ad trying to push more pricey accessories down my throat. I even stumbled on a character whining about wanting to play with a Joy-Con wheel, probably hoping for a spotlight in some Nintendo ad campaign.
Let’s be real. If this was a free gig, maybe, just maybe, it would slide by without raising eyebrows. But, asking for money and then demanding more for the full experience with add-ons is, pardon my French, kinda insulting.
Ten out of ten wouldn’t recommend. Unless you’re stuck waiting for more Switch 2 titles to pop up and facing boredom head-on, you might as well skip this ride.
