Episode 929: James Jones – Neanderthal Art Critic – Radio Free Nintendo

Alright, let’s dive (or stumble) into this. Here goes nothing:

So, that aurochs painting everyone’s losing their minds over? Yeah, not really impressed. I mean, most of the cave doodles we love to talk about, especially those around the Montignac-Lascaux area, are from this Magdalenian crowd. You know, modern humans doing their artsy stuff somewhere between 20,000 and 10,000 years ago. But hang on—Neanderthals were scribbling on caves too, way before they disappeared around 40,000 years ago. Mostly in Spain though. Their art’s more like handprints and some dot patterns, not really into the animal anatomy scene. But hey, their art’s older and honestly, it didn’t survive as well. Makes sense, right?

Anyway, not exactly what you’d frame over your fireplace.

Just blurting this out from memory—I ain’t checking any of this (okay, maybe peeked to spell Magdalenian and Montignac-Lascaux right). Fact police, do your thing! Picture me, finger-pointing, daring fact-checkers to give it a go.

Enter modern-day James—no brow ridges, definitely no beret. Think Hot Tub Time Machine, but, you know, with jokes that actually land.

THIS WEEK: Jon’s cozy with his brand new Switch 2, fresh outta bestbuy.com’s embrace. So, he’s steering us through a Mario Kart World deep dive. Everyone with a Switch 2 seems hooked on this game. And trust me, Jon’s out there in his living room, just getting slammed by a relentless wave of red shells. Strangely satisfying. Smash, smash, smash.

Oh, and hey, there’s a new Splatoon solo mission in the works.

This somehow opens the floodgates to other random stuff. I don’t get the show either.

Took a breather to keep our sanity intact—but back at it, we go. Guillaume’s rallying for F-Zero GX, now available on that NSO Expansion Pack thingy for the Switch 2. I wouldn’t recommend it, mainly because he’s kind of gone full-on berserker. Predictable. Also, he’s diving into Valfaris—a 2D shooter that’s practically a love letter to massive guns and absurd violence.

Greg’s been tinkering with the latest patch for Splatoon 3, adapted for Switch 2. He’s got stuff to say about the HDR’s oomph and how smooth that framerate is. They oughta coin it “super-stable framerate”—doing Nintendo’s PR job here. Again.

Finally, your faithful guide here, James, has jumped into the Switch 2 version of Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time. Had my brush with time bandits before: kids, bean counters, bosses, inspectors—but never a miniature time thief.

Hold up—ANYWAY. Just scratching the surface of the game during recording, so my thoughts are all tutorial-level. Planning to delve deeper by next week. Well, unless something gets in the way. You know how it is.

Have your prehistoric masterpieces ready for submission!